If you're not seeing them, you're not looking.
I see planes all the time when flying commercial. Obviously, I see them a lot more when close to a major center, and a lot less when in the sparse parts of the Pacific Northwest (Montana, Idaho, Oregon, Washington).
I think spotting them may take some practice. Visually, a plane 10+ miles away is a very small dot, and easily missed. Try looking for contrails and be sure to look at altitudes above and below you. Scan the sky in roughly 10 degree segments making 18 differentnarrow, concentrated10° concentrated "fields of view" to scan from left-to-right all the way across the sky.