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Say I have $x million to buy an F-14 Tomcat and am physically fit (I think) to be able to fly it. Is there a short pilot training course I can attend to get licensed to fly it?

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Anybody with the resources and connections to buy an F-14 could probably find a former Navy CFI to get them up to speed. Otherwise no, there is no existing course you can simply attend. There just isn't enough demand to run such a business.

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